Sunday, 12 June 2016

What I ate the week following my birthday

Project managing is a skill in every context, including when applied to your life. It's all about timing things to mitigate damage. As an adult, it's quite tricky to find a few weeks to be incapacitated even if the long term gain of a mental reboot is well worth it. But it's all about calculating the right time: if you're stable enough to quit your job, you've got the mental wherewithal to avoid falling off a precipice (both literally and figuratively). Still, there are some functions you've got to keep going, so here's a guide to keeping it together when you are too old to let things fall apart:

1. Don't bother trying to put game face on. No point

2. Wear dresses. Fewest arm movements required to put on. Also, no need for bra

3. Make plans (it is easier to move if you have a reason to move)
(Be upfront with your pals that you will probably cancel your plans)

4. Use pockets of energy to respond to texts because it is not nice to worry your friends 


5. Track when in the day you have energy and pounce at those times to do things like wash and drink water. Take some pleasure in the fact that things which usually come so naturally (good housekeeping, seeming like you're competent) can go to hell so that in a few weeks when your capacity is back you won't stress about them 

6. Keep your friends close, keep the freelancers closer

7. Buy yoghurt so that when chewing seems unsustainable you get calories from somewhere 

8. Avoid the tube. Jesus

9. Work remotely and cultivate an excellent telephone voice so no one can see the Miss Havisham look you're rocking most days

10. Go dancing, but don't get fucked up. Don't need to if the music is nice enough and it's a mode of socialising where you can legitimately be silent and kind of on your own

What I ate this week
Yoghurt and jam x5 - like an incredibly delicious Muller corner
Birthday cake - egg free and fuckin' delicious
Leftover birthday potatoes with a fennel, crumb and olive topping - really not my best work
Tuna pasta - surprisingly, probably the best I've managed to make ever
Half of a Wetherspoons chilli dog meal shared with your daytime carer - a highlight
A breakfast that you organised but then all your friends bought the things for and cooked - delicious, with a special shout out to the slow scrambled eggs, and also thank you for bringing so much yoghurt
Jerk chicken by White Men Can't Jerk - good, but not great
A birthday meal cooked by your soulmate, even though all week you've behaved like an ungrateful churl - haven't even eaten it yet but can already promise it's the best ever

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